Why You’re Losing Friends

When I was younger, I made it my goal to be friends with everyone. I was like the unofficial peacekeeper, always trying to avoid any hint of drama or conflict. I just wanted everyone to get along and for life to be as chill as possible.

But as I got older, I quickly learned that trying to please everyone is pretty much impossible. No matter how nice you are or how hard you try, there’s always going to be someone who finds a reason to dislike you or even worse, betray your trust.

At first, it was a bit of a shock to my system. I mean, I genuinely thought that if I was just nice enough, everything would work out. But reality had other plans. I had to come to terms with the fact that not everyone was going to vibe with me, no matter how hard I tried.

So, I started to let go. I stopped bending over backward to keep people in my life who didn’t appreciate me for who I was. And you know what? It was freeing. I realized that my energy was better spent on those who truly valued and respected me.

Looking back, I can see why I lost some friendships along the way. 

Why You’re Losing Friends

• Priorities

Life after high school or college is like stepping onto a whole new playing field. Suddenly, we’re juggling career aspirations, family obligations, and trying to maintain some semblance of a social life. It’s like we’re all trying to find our balance in this crazy adult world.

But let’s be real, it’s not always easy to keep up with our friends, especially when everyone’s got different schedules and priorities. Sometimes, it feels like we’re all just ships passing in the night, barely finding time to catch up amidst the chaos of life.

And then there are those friends who just don’t get it. You know the ones I’m talking about—the ones who expect you to drop everything and hang out with them at the drop of a hat, no matter how busy you are. It’s like they’re stuck in this time warp where it’s still high school and you’re available 24/7.

But here’s the thing: you don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you choose to spend your time. If you’re busy with work or family commitments, that’s totally okay. Real friends will understand and be cool about rescheduling.

For me, personally, I’ve come to accept that I can’t see my friends as often as I’d like. We’re all leading busy lives, and sometimes, we can only manage to meet up once a year—if we’re lucky, maybe twice or thrice. 

Because when we do finally get together, it’s like no time has passed at all. We pick up right where we left off, sharing stories, laughing until our stomachs hurt, and just enjoying each other’s company. And that’s the beauty of true friendship—it’s not about how often you see each other, but the quality of the time you spend together.

• Jealousy or competition

Competition seems to be ingrained in us from the moment we’re old enough to understand it. I mean, even back in elementary school, there was always that one kid who had to have the coolest backpack or the latest toy just to feel like they were keeping up with the Joneses.

And as we get older, it doesn’t really go away. People still love to compare themselves to others, whether it’s about their job, their relationships, or even just their lifestyle.

But here’s the thing: sometimes, that competition can turn toxic, especially when it comes to friendships. You might think everything’s cool and your life is pretty straightforward, but for someone else who’s maybe struggling a bit, they might start feeling a twinge of jealousy. And unfortunately, that can lead them to do some pretty shady stuff.

That’s why it’s so important to be mindful of who you let into your inner circle. Not everyone has your best interests at heart, and some people might even try to sabotage things for you out of their own insecurities.

So, my advice? Choose your confidantes wisely. Be careful who you spill your guts to, because you never know when someone might use that information against you. It’s not about being paranoid, it’s just about being smart and protecting yourself from unnecessary drama.

• Misunderstandings

Getting into disagreements with your friends is totally normal. I mean, we’re all human, right? We’re bound to have different opinions and clash from time to time. Some people even say that going through tough times with your friends can actually strengthen your bond.

But here’s the thing: if you let those problems fester without addressing them, it’s like shaking up a soda can and waiting for it to explode. Eventually, all that pent-up frustration and resentment can really take a toll on your friendship.

So, instead of sweeping things under the rug and hoping they’ll just go away, why not try having a heart-to-heart? Sit down with your friend and really talk things out. Explain how you’re feeling and listen to what they have to say too. It’s all about communication and understanding where each other is coming from.

And hey, give each other some time to cool off if you need it. Sometimes, a little space can do wonders for perspective. But whatever you do, don’t let those misunderstandings simmer beneath the surface. Trust me, it’s not worth risking a friendship over.

What to Do When You’re Losing Friends:

Losing friends is a tough pill to swallow, but the truth is, it happens to all of us. And you know what? It doesn’t make you a bad person. Sometimes, friendships just naturally come to an end, and that’s okay.

When you do find yourself in that situation, it’s important to take a step back and reflect on what might have caused the friendship to fade away. Maybe there were misunderstandings or disagreements that were never addressed. Or perhaps you simply grew apart as you moved in different directions in life.

Now, if you realize that you played a part in the friendship ending, it’s never too late to try and make things right. Don’t be afraid to swallow your pride and apologize if needed. After all, who wants to lose a friend, right? Put in a bit of effort to mend the relationship and see if there’s a chance to reconnect.

But let’s be real, sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things just don’t work out. And that’s okay too. Not every person we meet is meant to be a lifelong friend. Sometimes, their role in our lives is simply to teach us something or help us grow.

So, when it’s time to say goodbye, try to focus on the good times you shared instead of dwelling on the end. Be grateful for the memories and the lessons learned, and then let go with grace.

Remember, life is too short to waste on friendships that don’t bring you joy. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and lift you up. Don’t settle for anything less than true, authentic connections.

At the end of the day, the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. So, love yourself enough to walk away from toxic friendships and make room for the ones that bring you happiness and fulfillment. You deserve it.