Am I Required to Have a Kid?

I’m in my late 20s now, and lately, my grandmother has been nudging me about marriage and starting a family. It seems like a common expectation from the older generation, but my feelings about it are a bit unconventional.

To be honest, I’ve never envisioned myself getting pregnant. The idea of giving birth terrifies me—I’ve heard so many stories about the pain and complications. Unlike many women, I don’t feel those maternal instincts, and I’m perfectly okay with that. Even now, as I approach 30, my perspective hasn’t shifted.

Yet, there’s this nagging thought in the back of my mind: what if my future self wants children? The 28-year-old me might not want kids, but what about the 40-year-old me? What if I realize I want a child when it’s already too late?

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. I’ve talked to friends, and the consensus is that the future is unpredictable. I even discussed it with my boyfriend, and we’ve agreed on a sort of middle ground: if we have a child, we’ll be happy, but if we don’t, that’s okay too.

In today’s economy, supporting yourself is tough enough without adding the financial and emotional responsibilities of raising a child. But then again, what if my older self has a change of heart? What if I end up wanting to care for a baby, to have a little version of myself running around?

Ultimately, I know I’m not obligated to have children. Right now, I still don’t want one, but if life takes me in that direction, I’ll embrace it. And if it doesn’t, I’m fine with that too. I’ve always dreamed of being a proud fur mom, after all.