Why the Thought of Being 30 Scares Me

I just turned 28 this year, but for some weird reason, the pressure of becoming 30 has been bothering me. I feel like I haven’t achieved anything in life compared to other people. Some people my age have their own house or their own business.

It isn’t like I didn’t try to buy a condominium myself; it was just that my work wasn’t stable enough to keep paying for it. And it wasn’t because I didn’t work hard enough to achieve anything; it’s just that life keeps happening.

The thought of being 30 scares me because I imagined myself having everything I wanted at that age, and now I only have two years to do that. Let’s be realistic—I’ll never attain that now, especially when I’m just starting my way back up again.

Even if I wanted to start a business, I don’t know what business to try. I’ve tried selling coffee beans before, but that didn’t work out. Now, if I want to start a business, I need to have a license and other stuff. I have to stick with it until the end, so I want to have a business that I truly love, but when I try to think about what I want, I don’t have an answer.

I thought before or at 30, I’d have everything together, but I’ve realized that it’s hard. Some people might be lucky to know what they want and have a chance to pursue it, but for an average person like me, I have to grind each day, leaving me with no energy and time to think of my next goal.

Life feels like a constant cycle of work, pay bills, and work. I’ve tried ways to prevent burnout again, but thinking that I am nearing 30 makes me sad and exhausted. I know it’s wrong to set a deadline for myself, but sometimes, I wish life was a bit easier for me.

Sorry, this ended up being a rant instead of an actual blog post.