What Made Me Decide to Change the Way I Look

When I was younger, I never imagined that I’d wear makeup or dye my hair. I remember getting frustrated with my mom whenever she suggested I try new looks to enhance my appearance. No one would have guessed I’d end up with blonde hair, a basic makeup routine, and occasionally donning cute dresses. I’ve even set a personal goal to be told I look like a doll.

The catalyst for my transformation was getting cheated on. My pride was hurt, and I realized that the girl my ex was with was considered “pretty.” So, I decided to make some changes. The first thing I did was get a hair rebonding treatment. I also started using face powder to even out my complexion.

When I entered college, I began experimenting with light lipstick. Eventually, I became a K-pop fangirl and decided to dye my hair red to match my favorite artist, VIXX’s N (Cha Hakyeon). From then on, I incorporated more makeup into my routine, developed a skincare regimen, and vowed never to return to my natural black hair color.

I experimented with various hair colors—red, pink, orange—but ultimately, I fell in love with being blonde, so it became my go-to shade. I also learned how to curl my hair, and there was a period when I styled it that way every time I went out.

Fashion-wise, I was inspired by Korean and Japanese styles, opting for cute dresses, crop tops, and tight jeans. I paired these outfits with sandals or white shoes for a cohesive look.

As I began to see the changes in myself, I set a new goal: to be seen as a living doll. I even ventured into cosplay, which was both fun and expensive. Some people have told me I look like a doll, but my greatest triumph was when a little girl called me “Barbie.” I was only wearing a black crop top and tight jeans—a simple, comfy outfit—yet she acknowledged me.

I knew I had achieved my goal, but I also realized there’s always room for improvement. Regardless, I am happy with how far I’ve come. Children don’t lie, so I take her comment as a genuine compliment.

My transformation began from a place of hurt, but it has become a journey of self-love and happiness. Although I still have insecurities, like a fear of being called “fat,” I’d say my confidence is now 90-10 in favor of being happy with my appearance. I’m excited to continue embracing and enjoying who I am.

PS. I had a Barbie-themed party this year and it was fun to cosplay Barbie 🙂