Why Some People Have Suicidal Thoughts

I’m not going to lie—it wasn’t too long ago that I went through a dark phase where I wanted to end it all. I even made a few attempts to escape the overwhelming pain that weighed me down. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s a part of my journey. Suicidal thoughts are complex and often misunderstood, especially by those who have never experienced them. But for anyone who wants to understand why some of us have these thoughts, I want to offer a glimpse into what it feels like.

Here’s why some people, like me, struggle with suicidal thoughts:

1. Feeling Like Life Has No Meaning

One of the most overwhelming feelings when experiencing suicidal thoughts is the sense that life has no purpose or meaning. It’s as if every day is just another cycle of going through the motions, without a deeper connection to anything. This emptiness can make it difficult to see a reason to keep going. It feels like you’re floating through life, disconnected from everything and everyone around you.

People who feel this way often ask themselves, “Why am I here? Does any of this even matter?”

2. Unsure Why You’re Still Alive

For some, it’s not even about wanting to die, but more about not understanding why they’re still alive. They may feel like they’ve lost direction, motivation, or a sense of purpose. You might wake up every day wondering, “Why am I even bothering? What’s the point of all this?”

This is a deeply existential question that can haunt someone’s mind when they’re battling with their inner demons. The inability to answer it can push a person toward dangerous thoughts.

3. You Just Want to Stop the Pain

Pain—whether it’s emotional, mental, or physical—can be unbearable. And sometimes, that pain feels like it’s never going to end. Suicidal thoughts can arise when the suffering becomes too much to handle. It’s not necessarily that someone wants to die; they just want the pain to stop. When you’re in the thick of it, it can seem like death is the only escape from the endless hurt.

Thoughts like, “I can’t take this anymore,” become louder and louder until they drown out everything else.

4. You’re Tired of Living

When life feels like a constant battle, exhaustion sets in. Suicidal thoughts often emerge when someone feels utterly drained, both mentally and physically. It’s not necessarily a dramatic or angry feeling—it’s more like a deep, bone-tired weariness. You’re tired of fighting, tired of pretending, and tired of hoping things will get better. You just want to rest, and the only way you can think of to get that rest is to stop living.

The thought “I just want it all to stop” plays on repeat in your mind.

5. You’re Tired of Pretending You’re Okay

For many people, suicidal thoughts come from the exhausting burden of pretending that everything is fine when, in reality, it’s far from it. There’s immense pressure to keep up appearances, to show the world that you’re handling life, when inside, you feel like you’re falling apart. This act of pretending to be okay when you’re not is draining and isolating.

Suicidal thoughts are not a sign of weakness, and they don’t define who you are. They’re a symptom of deep emotional pain, confusion, and exhaustion. While it might feel like there’s no way out, there is always help available. Understanding the reasons behind these thoughts is just one step toward healing, but it’s an important one.

For those who have never had suicidal thoughts, understanding why some people feel this way can foster greater empathy and support. Sometimes, all someone needs is to be heard, validated, and reminded that their life matters—even when they can’t see it themselves.

If you’re struggling right now, know that your feelings are real, but they don’t have to last forever. Keep fighting. There is hope, and you deserve to find it.