Recently, one of my closest friends has been opening up about how much they want to be in a relationship. They’ve never had one, and I can feel the weight of their frustration. Sometimes they’ll say things like, “Why does no one want me?” or “I feel like I’m so behind compared to everyone else.” Hearing that breaks my heart, because I know how much they deserve love.
At first, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to give clichés like, “It’ll happen when it happens.” Over time, though, I’ve learned a few things that help me support them better.
1. I acknowledge their feelings.
Instead of brushing it off, I’ll tell them, “I understand why you feel this way, it’s tough when it seems like love is passing you by.” Just validating their emotions makes them feel heard.
2. I remind them of their worth.
When they get caught up in self-doubt, I remind them: “You’re kind, funny, and thoughtful. Any partner would be lucky to have you.” It’s important they know that being single doesn’t diminish their value.
3. I encourage self-growth.
I don’t push them to “forget about dating,” but I do encourage them to enjoy life as it is. I’ll say, “Why don’t you try that class you’ve been talking about?” or “Let’s plan that trip you keep mentioning.” Building joy and confidence outside of a relationship makes the waiting easier.
4. I offer perspective, gently.
Sometimes I’ll remind them, “There’s no timeline for love. Everyone’s story looks different, and that doesn’t make yours less meaningful.”
5. I remind them they’re not alone.
Most of all, I make sure they know I’m here. I’ll say, “I get it, and I’m not going anywhere. You’ll always have me by your side.”
Supporting a friend through this isn’t about finding the perfect words. It’s about listening, reminding them of their worth, and being there as they navigate the waiting. Love will come for them, I truly believe that. Until then, I’ll keep reminding them of the love they already have in their life.
Sunshine after the rain 
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